Kenny the King!
by AthenaSeiki
Summary: Kenny decides to do something about his lack of popularity in comparison to the other beybladers...with hilarious results
1. One point zero

Greetings, beings of lesser intellect!

This is your supreme, highly capable, handsome and tall soon-to-be leader, Kenny, making his first entry in his new digital log! Here I shall, for your wisdom, elaborate on my grand plans to overthrow the cretins currently ruling the beyblading world! Muahahaha!

It has come to my attention that despite being a highly skilled and vastly knowledgeable beyblade technology genius, the likes of which cannot ever hope to be challenged, my popularity with the fans of the sport – particularly the fairer sex – is shockingly, unacceptably low.

Of course, being surrounded by a bunch of athletic pretty boys does me no favours. It is virtually impossible for anyone not blessed with outlandish good looks and the body of a Greek god to stand out in the ladies' eyes in a sport which has the likes of Miguel, Ray, Garland and Kai, just to name a few.

Thus, I have decided that my first step in world domination – er, that of the beyblading world, that is – will be to increase my physical appeal. By doing so, I shall eradicate a significant amount of competition, paving my way into the hearts of pretty girls around the globe! – and dare I hope, catch the eye of the beautiful angel that is Ming-Ming herself! I can already imagine it….the two of us, standing side by side on stage after a captivating performance of beyblading and singing combined, holding hands and waving to our cheering, ardent worshippers – she in her lovely, sparkling pink dress and I in a dashing lime-green tuxedo – ah, glory days, you shall be upon us very soon!

Now, as for my plans to improve my physical appeal, I have come up with an elaborate training routine and some calculated measures, in order to achieve my goal. These are as follows –

Get up at 5 am in the morning and run 10 miles, every day without fail. Ray, Kai and Daichi do this to stay in shape – even Tyson and Max run their 10 miles once they wake up (or are woken up, in Tyson's case)

Secretly study Kai's weightlifting regime when he goes to the gym, then follow it myself. If that's what Kai did to get and maintain those muscles all the girls keep ogling, I'm definitely going to want to do it.

Follow a high-protein diet, as my mother always told me to do when I was a little boy. (sniff…..I wish I had been an obedient son and eaten all my meats and vegetables like a good boy back then…)

Since I have tried, and failed, to develop and sustain a deeper voice, I shall design a small voice modulating chip that I can attach to my throat to lower the frequency of the soundwaves emanating from my larynx, giving me a much more masculine and sexier voice.

Purchase growth enhancers – no, I do _not_ mean steroids – from the pharmaceutical store. The television commercials for these products guarantee making children grow taller at a better rate and help increase overall physical development.

Get a new hairstyle! I had recently overheard Mariah telling Emily that she found my current hairdo "weird", stating that it was a "mop", that completely hid my eyes! I don't see her complaining about Ray's ridiculously long hair – why do the girls love _his_ hair so much!?

Anyway, once I got over my initial indignation, I realised she did have a point. I should cut my hair, and allow the world to see my eyes! I am sure the fangirls will be mesmerised once they see them! Perhaps I'll get Miguel's hairstyle; he's very popular with the ladies…

Get a change of wardrobe…..hmm, I'm still not sure about this one….it is possible that my style is too nerdy? What should I do? Wear face paint and a long scarf? A baseball cap and jeans? Bright neon colours? An aviator jacket? Possibilities, possibilities….

As of now, I shall follow this scheme. The results should be evident in a few days' time. Soon, my master plan shall come to fruition, and I will be the most irresistible man on the planet! Wahahahaha! So, until my next update, my faithful minions!

* * *

This is something I've had in my head for a few days now :D

My updates for Secret to be told will probably be weekly now - it's undergoing some rewriting, so I'll update next week...and for this one as well, since my vacation is over -_-

Please rate and review if you like, and want to what hilarity is caused by Kenny's antics!


	2. Two point zero

Hello, my faithful servants. This is your fabulous ruler Kenny, recording my second entry in this digital diary cataloguing my rise to power and stardom.

In my last entry, I detailed my plans to improve my physical appeal to win over the ladies – my first step in becoming the most popular beyblader of all time, which I proceeded to implement yesterday.

…. It did _not_ go well.

After collapsing 20 minutes into my morning run, being nearly trampled by fangirls who had followed Kai to the gym, finding out that the height enhancing products I bought were meant for children below the age of six and my self-designed voice modulator electrocuting me after making me sound like Donald Duck when I used it, I decided to overhaul my plans to improve my own self – instead, I shall now focus my attention on the more fool-proof method of bringing out the competition's weaknesses in public, tarnish their image and diminish their popularity, and increase my own favourability by comparison! Hahaha! I'm a genius!

To complete this objective, I have compiled data on the most popular bladers, including both their attractions and detractions which I may exploit:

Opponent 1 : Tyson Granger

Profile: Black hair, chocolate brown eyes, 5'7", tan complexion, average build, 15 years old.

Merits: reigning three-time world champion, famous for extraordinary come-from-behind wins, a crowd pleaser, significant improvement in popularity among girls since he lost weight.

Demerits: often boisterous, loud and brash, nauseating eating habits, short tempered and frequent displays of lack of maturity, and also not rated _very_ high by female fans' gossip columns for looks.

Opponent 2 : Max Tate

Profile: Blonde hair, blue eyes, 5'7", fair complexion, average build, 15 years old.

Merits: popular among girls - heck _everyone_ \- for his "cuteness", happy-go-lucky and open attitude and general friendliness, good while talking to women, admired for sticking to, and excelling in, his signature defensive style of beyblading.

Demerits: eats everything with mustard, can be a little too hyper and playful at times (he also responds badly to excessive sugar), and perhaps, sometimes, comes off as a little too flirtatious.

Opponent 3 : Daichi Sumeragi

Profile: Dark red hair, green eyes, 5'1", tan complexion, average build (for his age, I suppose – not counting his below average height), 13 years old.

Merits: first choice tag team partner to Tyson in his successful third year championship sweep, caught lots of attention for highly impressive rookie run.

Demerits: below average height for his age, uncontrollably wild and uncivilised behaviour, rude and stubborn and _no_ presentation skills to appeal to any of the female fans, even though he is anyway too young to be of particular interest to them.

Opponent 4 : Ray Kon

Profile: Black hair ( _very long_ black hair), amber, feline eyes, 5'9", light tan, lithe build, 16 years old.

Merits: handsome, much admired feline-like features and lithe, athletic build, charming,verysmooth with the ladies, a talented and well-respected blader and honourable athlete, and an excellent chef to top it off.

Demerits: one rather big one – MARIAH. She scares off any girl who dares to come too close to Ray, and there's not much the poor guy can do anything about it. Also, though it rarely happens, Ray tends to get rather nasty if he loses his temper.

Opponent 5 : Kai Hiwatari

Profile: Dual-toned hair; slate bangs darkening to black at the back, amethyst eyes, 5'11", pale complexion, muscular build, 16 years old (nearly 17, actually)

Merits: rugged, tough, extremely handsome, bad boy attitude, silent and mysterious, strong presence (when he actually wants it to be felt, that is), heir to a wealthy and powerful military enterprise, "sexy and smoky" voice (according to a popular girls' mag) and one of the greatest beybladers to ever play the game.

Demerits: usually cold and unresponsive to people in general, does not show much interest in girls (no, he is neither asexual nor gay, he just considers relationships a waste of time), has a rather unsavoury record of jumping teams frequently, and is basically either loved or hated by fans. Also tends to turn into a vicious and extremely scary psychopath when he loses his cool.

* * *

Profile of other bladers in next update, along with Kenny going about to defame his peers!

Rate & Review!


	3. Two point one

Yay! Back with a long overdue update! This is a continuation of Kenny's victim scope-out...enjoy!

Specially dedicated to Soumita.

Disclaimer: You wanna sue someone, sue Kenny. This is _his_ digital log after all.

* * *

... _.Continued from last chapter_

Digital log 2.1

Opponent 6: Tala Ivanov

Profile: Red hair (styled in devil horns, no less), blue eyes, 6'1", pale complexion, lean build, 17 years old

Merits: charismatic, natural leader, striking (and angelic, according to fangirls) looks, great height (man, I'm jealous), can be very charming if he so chooses (just ask that nice old lady who he charmed and flattered into sending homemade meals for his team)

Demerits: extremely vain, snippy and (according to Kai) a control freak who tends to throw hissy fits.

...

Opponent 7: Oliver Polanski

Profile: lime green hair(perfectly styled at that), green eyes, 5'5", fair complexion, slim build, 18 years old

Merits: has celebrity status in France thanks to his wealth and extraordinary culinary skills, has refined taste in art, fashion and food; a gentleman

Demerits: despite his usual politeness is quite narcissistic, and is not particularly fond of associating with people of lesser social status, his sexuality has been questioned time and again

...

Opponent 8: Enrique Giancarlo

Profile: curly blond hair, blue eyes, 5'10", light tan, average build, 18 years old

Merits: celebrity status in Italy, very wealthy, laid back and pretty friendly, generous(especially to his dates), charming, boyish good looks

Demerits: known playboy, a bit of a slacker, whimsical

...

Opponent 9: Robert Jurgens

Profile: slick purple hair (can't imagine the amount of gel that goes into that 'do), brown eyes, 6'0", good build, 19 years old

Merits: extremely wealthy, intelligent, eloquent and capable, a perfect gentleman

Demerits: very snobbish (Rob the Snob, tee hee), aloof and distant, his gentlemanly behaviour does not extend to those he deems, in his own words, "uncouth".

...

Opponent 10: Johnny McGregor

Profile: dark red hair styled in a way that would make Vegeta proud, purple eyes, light tan, 5,9", average build, 18 years old

Merits: very wealthy. Er, that's about it.

Demerits: very short tempered, proud, a bit of a jerk, a very "rough around the edges" type of guy.

...

Opponent 11: Michael Parker

Profile: dark red hair (he dyed it blonde last year though), blue eyes, 5'11", athletic build, 17 years old

Merits: talented baseball player and extreme sports enthusiast, a pretty fun guy, very handsome and smooth with the ladies

Demerits: like Enrique, a known slacker, can be rather stuck-up, tends to behave like a "stupid, obnoxious man-child" (Emily's words)

...

Opponent 12: Miguel (I forgot his last name, haha)

Profile: blond hair, pale blue eyes, 5'8", average build, tan complexion, 15 years old

Merits: natural leader, handsome, friendly, won huge fan support after standing up for his morals and his team and refusing to cooperate with Barthez

Demerits: some people question him for not standing upto Barthez sooner, and are pissed off since his team _did_ win a lot of matches through unfair means

...

Opponent 13: Brooklyn Masefield

Profile: orange-red hair, green eyes, 6'1"(what is with all these tall people, seriously!?), good build, 17 years old

Merits: handsome, an avid nature-lover, polite, gentle and very kind(until you get him mad, that is)

Demerits: Even though he's not at all quick to anger, this is what happens when someone pushes him over the edge (cough*Kai*cough)...he unleashes his depraved, power-hungry and homicidal dark side to destroy those who angered him...hmm, sounds a lot like Kai when _he's_ really mad...anyway, most people are either too scared to approach him, and Kai's fans hate his guts, as does Kai himself, though that doesn't stop some of the fangirls from admiring him from a distance.

...

Well, dear listeners, this is my list of victims...huahaa! I shall now, being the evil genius that I am, begin my mission to savagely tear them apart! I will rip their cool reputations to shreds, leaving me the undisputed king of...*cough**hack* darnit, I need to take something for my throat...

* * *

To be continued!

Let me know, hot or not!

-AthenaSeiki


	4. Three point zero

New chapter! Yay!

Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade

* * *

It was a dreary night. The moon was all but obscured by the clouds, and strong howling winds drove torrential rain that ravaged the city, forcing most of the it's residents indoors.

However, one individual could be seen striding purposefully across the flooding streets, the rim of his hat pulled low over his face as he made his way to his destination, his long overcoat fluttering around his ankles. The mysterious individual made his way out of the suburbs, till he was in what could only be described as one of the 'shadier' parts of town. He strode through the dimly lit lanes and alleys, calmly ignoring the leers sent his way by the tattooed, scarred teenagers hanging around in the shadows. He finally reached a decrepit old brick building at the end of the lane that looked to be a cheap apartment building. He paused only momentarily to look at the building, before heading to the heavy, rusted iron side door. He raised his hand.

 _Knock knock. Knock. Knock knock._

He stepped back after knocking, adjusting the collar of his coat. A few seconds later, the door was opened by a skinny young man dressed in a ratty shirt and jeans. The two exchanged a curt nod, before the latter stepped aside, allowing the former to enter what seemed to be a small pub.

The young man in the coat wasted no time, moving straight towards the bar counter and sliding onto one of the bar stools, albeit with some difficulty. The burly bartender raised an eyebrow at him.

"One milk on the rocks," said the newcomer smoothly, tipping his hat ever so slightly in greeting. The man nodded and moved away to fix up the drink. Just then, a girl slid into the bar stool next to him. She was quite the looker, with long, raven hair curled in ringlets and large, deep blue eyes. Her red tube top showed off her ample curves.

"Heeey," she drew out the word, twirling a lock of her hair as she leaned sideways into the counter.

"Evening."

The girl giggled. "So formal. You should loosen up a bit."

The young man adjusted his tie as his drink was set before him. "You know as well as I do that we're here on business. There's no need for your attempts at flirtation."

The girl smirked. "Well at least you're honest.." The young man did not reply and took a sip of his drink.

"So, who's the target?"

The young man set down his glass slowly before producing a thick manila envelope from his coat's inner pocket. He slid it across the counter towards her.

"These are the two I want taken care of," he said, looking at the girl as she took out the contents and examined them. "All the necessary details are in there."

"Oh, what a handsome face," purred the girl, trailing a finger over the snapshot she held. "Such a pity."

"It can't be helped." He finished off his drink before sliding off the stool, placing a few coins on the counter. "I have other arrangements to make. I trust you and your partners will take care of them?"

"Oh, we will," she said so seductively that it sent a shiver down his spine. He nodded, before turning on his heel with a swish of his coat and walking away.

...

A very good day to you, my subservient populace !

As you must already know, this is Kenny (aka the Chief). 'tis a glorious day, cloudless and sunny after last night's downpour, and coincidentally, the day I shall set my devious master plan into action. I am currently at Tyson's dojo, sitting on the patio leading out to the Granger's backyard. I sit with my laptop, knowing well that no one will suspect me if I pretend to be immersed in the digital world. Tyson is currently fast asleep upstairs (it's still not 11 am) , Daichi has been sent out by Gramps on an errand, Ray is already here, meditating beside me, Hilary will be here soon, Max is busy helping his father at the hobby shop today and Kai's whereabouts are currently unknown. Phew, that intro took a while.

Anyway, right now only Ray and I are here in companionable silence. I discretely look at my watch. Not for long! Dang, Kai's psycho voice isn't easy to pull off, even in my head. Er hem. Back to the topic. I pull out my cell phone slowly, making sure Ray doesn't notice (his eyes may be closed, but he has uncannily sharp senses) and give a missed call to the last person contacted. Stifling an evil chuckle, I return the mobile to my pocket. Right on cue, I hear footsteps approaching, walking around the house.

Ray cracks open one eye at the sound of the footsteps, which approach us steadily until the person rounds the corner and comes to a stop. The stranger is a pretty redheaded girl wearing denim short shorts and a crop top. She puts her hands behind her back and smiles cutely at us.

"Hi Ray!"

Ray looks taken aback and slightly nervous. He looks at me quickly and I could see the question in his eyes - _Fangirl?_ i merely shrug my shoulders. Seeming to take the fact that the girl hadn't started screaming and jumped him yet as a good sign, he stands slowly to face the girl, who is still smiling warmly at him.

"Er, I'm sorry, but do I know you?" he asks tentatively.

The girl's smile falters for a moment, but then she laughs, clearly confusing Ray.

"Oh, that's right. I should have guessed that you wouldn't remember! You were pretty wasted, after all," she says lightly, making Ray's eyes widen.

"W-what do you mean?" he asked, a trace of panic seeping into his voice.

The girl looked at him coyly from beneath her lashes. "Well, how to say this? You and I, y'know...hooked up."

...

Allow me to give you some insight, dear readers.

You see, I decided to exploit the only blemish in Ray's perfectly clean slate of conduct - the night of The Party.

The Party was, and wil probably remain, the most epic unofficial event ever to transpire in the Beyblading world. It was _supposed_ to be an informal get-together of the world championship teams, but, it turned out that Mr. Dickenson's idea of "letting the kids have fun however they like for a day" turned out to be a _very_ bad idea. He should have realised this when the Blitzkrieg Boys volunteered to be the organisers. Anyway, the thing was a nightmare. I hid under a table for most of it in fear of my mental and physical health. Anyway, that's a story for another day.

Basically all you need to know for now is that everyone, Ray included, was very drunk - and at some point several girls had let themselves in and started ...mingling with everyone. I had spied one of the girls dragging a very tipsy and laughing Ray upstairs. After I emerged from my hiding spot early in the morning to search for and collect my completely hammered teammates, I had found a very confused and ruffled looking Ray lying on the floor in one of the rooms, claiming to not remember a thing.

...

Ray's line of thought seemed to be running along the same tracks, for he visibly paled and started sweating nervously.

"I-I d-don't know what you're talking a-about," he stutters.

The girl's laughs again. "Oh, you're too cute, " she says. She saunters up to an alarmed Ray and lays a hand on his arm. " I suppose you don't remember saying that you wanted to go out with me while we were getting it on?"

Ray's face turned scarlet. "I - I-" his voice died in his throat when he saw, standing behind the redhead, a pink haired girl who didn't look too happy with what she had just heard.

* * *

Cliffhanger! I'm evil, aren't I?

Anyone remember Kai's breakdown in the 3rd season final match against Tyson? It freaked me out like crazy! Especially the way he said "not for long!" in that creepy sing-song voice, lol.

Any who, remember to rate and review everyone!

-AthenaSeiki


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